The Weirdest Payment Schedule Ever!

This morning, while having breakfast, I went through a draft contract from our client. Flipping through the pages, everything seemed fine. No discrepancies from our earlier agreement.

When I reached the Payment Schedule page and started to scrutinise the proposed schedule of payment, I almost choked on my beef risoles.

Kontrak apaan ini?

I read through the payment schedule again and again. I was not halucinating. The words were correct.

I don't think I'd be able to meet their demand. I'd have to send my staff to claim the 3rd and 4th payment.

We are the "Pihak Kedua". For the 3rd payment, I'd suggest my staff to take Viagra. But not for the 4th payment. Taking Viagra might cause further delay in getting our money.

I Don't Need Your Assistance, Thank You.

One of the things I like about Indonesia is the politeness of the sales promoter or shop assistants. From the high-end super malls like Grand Indonesia to the modest shop lots in ITC Kuningan, you'd find that the sales promoters are very attentive, ever willing to serve you and most importantly polite.

But of course, there are some bad apples among them but as far as I'm concerned, its rare.

Here in Indonesia, you can try on clothes without the unecessary pressure to purchase them rightafter. You can simply walk out the store without being verbally hurled at by the shop assistant.

That only happens in Malaysia.

Go and try on a few clothes in a shop in KL and you'd either find the sales promoter putting on the ugliest frown you've ever seen or worse, they'd make some nasty remarks. But before that, they'd trail you all over the shop as though you're a potential shoplifter.

That's why I love window shopping in Jakarta. The key phrase here is window shopping because heyy... I don't get paid thousands of USD a month ok.

But then, there are times when you feel intimidated by the presence of a sales promoter next to you. One good example is when buying your underwear.

I was in Sogo recently in the men's undies section. As usual, my mind gets confused when presented with a lot of choice before me.

Shall it be cotton or lycra? Or combination of lycra and cotton? Or modal? What the hell is modal? (but it feels strangely nice)... Sports brief or just brief? Boxer brief or plain boxer? Or maybe tanga... but wait, there's contour brief.. hmmm.

While the above was running through my head, a sales promoter was all the while standing a couple of feet away watching me.

Pehal la minah ni. I can manage to choose my own underwear, thank you. Really, you don't have to stand there waiting for me to seek for your assistance.

Besides, what am I supposed to ask her? Is lycra or cotton more comfortable for the family jewels? Or, would she be able to answer which type of undies would best suit a particular "parking" orientation? Kannn......

For you ladies out there, just imagine if a male sales promoter is stationed at the bra section, wouldn't you feel intimidated? I don't think the male sales promoter would be able to provide any help on questions related to bra, unless he is a drag queen by night.

In the end, I politely told the sales promoter that I do not need her assistance. And she left me alone.

Heyy... when it comes to a crucial thing such as choosing the right underwear, I need a clear mind to help in the decision making ok.

Gue Sibuk Banget

Dah bersawang blog aku ni yes??

My schedule has been super duper hectic the past couple of weeks. Bertambah uban kat kepala aku nih.

Ok. A bit of updates. The CFO and the head of internal audit from HQ were in Jakarta recently. In short, the CFO has instructed to extend my stay in Jakarta until end January 2009.

My reaction? Mixed, to be honest. A part of me wants to go back to Malaysia but then there's also the feeling of wanting to stay. Confused betul le.

Why do I want to be back in KL? Well, on top of the list, I miss my family, terribly. When I was assigned to this post back in Jan 2006, I was told that I would only be here until 31st January 2008. That information had been programmed in me. Whatever nonsense and challenges I faced here, I would console myself by saying - toughen up, it won't be long before you go back.

Now, I have to do a bit of "re-programming". I have to endure the challenges, whatever they may be, in whatever form, for another eight months. BUT, I have to also prepare myself should my CFO decide to extend my assignment beyond January 2009.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate living in Jakarta. I've grown fond of this megacity despite the glaring shortcomings it has compared to Kuala Lumpur. That's the other part of me that would be sad when the time comes for me to bid adieu to Jakarta.

Jamaluddin Mat, it is now confirmed that you and your entourage will have free accommodation in August. Lega tak?

Inacraft 2008

Hari ini saya akan menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia piawai.

Pada hari Sabtu 26 April 2008, bersamaan 19 Rabiulakhir 1429 Hijrah, saya meluangkan waktu untuk melawat pameran Inacraft 2008 bertempat di Balai Sidang Jakarta atau Jakarta Convention Centre (JCC).

Inacraft merupakan sebuah acara tahunan di mana para pengusaha hasil kraftangan Indonesia dikumpulkan untuk mempromosi hasil kraftangan masing-masing.

Kraftangan dari seluruh provinsi di Indonesia dipamerkan dan dijual sepanjang berlangsungnya pameran ini. Seperti yang kita sedia maklum, Indonesia terkenal dengan kraftangan-kraftangan yang mempunyai kualiti yang tinggi.

Saya tidak sangka menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia piawai adalah amat mencabar. Oleh itu, sekarang saya akan menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu Perak.

Kome-kome yang peghonah pergi ke JCC taule betape besornye tempat ni. Letih aku keliling tempat ni. Adele dekat 3 jam aku kat situ.

Banyak hasil kraf deme ni. Ate, Indonesia ni kan ke lueh, banyakle kraftangan dari Bali sampei le ke Sumatera. Elok bebenor ropenye. Regenye pulak jangan ceritele... murah-murah. Sampei tertelan ayor lior aku nengoknya.

Ghonsing nengok banyak benor yang cantik-cantik. Udoh-udohnye aku beli le jugak 5-6 jenih barang. Ate, udoh dekat 3 jam meghonde takkan tak beli apa-apa kan?. Buat rogi tambang teksi je.

Manusia usoh cerite le. Ramei bebenor. Bersesak-sesak kat dalam dewan tu. Berlaga-laga bahu sampei meghonte-ghonte nak berjalan. Idak le peronah aku nengok orang ramei macam ni kat JCC. Kalo kome nak datang tahun depan, kome datangle awe pagi hari biasa. Usoh datang hujung menggu. Udoh ghope Batu Cave mase Thaipusam.

Aku ade amik gambo tapi gambo pintu gerobang Inacraft aje. Nanti aku bubuh kat sini. Talian internet ghope sial aje sekarang ni.

Obsesi Abreviasi

I've been having flu since Sunday. With on and off fever. I was given two days medical leave on Monday and Tuesday.

However, Monday morning I had to attend a meeting with officials from the company which manages the Soekarno-Hatta airport. Corrupt officials.

I was at the meeting venue at 11-ish with two lady directors from the joint-venture company which I work for.

The venue was in one of the buildings inside the vast airport complex. It was my first time stepping inside the rather old looking two-storey building. We were greeted by a lady officer (whom I had met once before, also corrupt) who was smiling from ear-to-ear. Probably she was expecting "ang-pau" from us. Sorry to disappoint you lady, I don't operate like my boss. And by the way, wasn't it a fortnight ago you received an envelope from my boss?

So, this corrupt lady officer led us to the meeting room. Along the way, I could see staff standing around having casual conversations and there was even one staff playing games on the PC. None was doing or seemed to be doing any serious kind of work.

But the office setting was of an acceptable standard. Idak le hudduh bebenor. Wayyyy much better than the local immigration office. I've been there three times (the immigration office). Strangely, it looked like a Turkish bath. Not that I've been inside one but I've seen how they look like on telly. Lebih kurang macam tu le rope immigration office deme ni.

Ok. Back to the meeting.

The meeting could be done with in a matter of less than 10 minutes but it dragged on to almost 45 minutes. I don't know whether they had done it deliberately in anticipation of getting "ang-pau" from us. I was cursing inside. Tak nampak ke hidung aku ni meleleh-leleh hingus tengah flu. Banyak benor pulak acara balas pantun nih.

I was feeling restless. Just like a kid would be when forced to sit quietly. I started reading the meeting agenda distributed earlier on. I stifled my laugh. Here's why.

"Anak makcik keroje kat mana?"

"Tu ha.. kat lapangan terobang"

"Apa kerojenye?Pangkat apa?"

"Alah.. tu ha..keroje dalam unit bisnes lapangan terobang. Pangkatnye tinggi le jugak. Deme kata ASSMAN"

People here are so obsessed with abbreviations. They would coin a new term by abbreviating two or more words.

For instance, from the pic above:

KADIV = Kepala Divisi
KADIN = Kepala Dinas (or unit)
ASSMAN??? Whaddya think?

Scroll down for the answer....

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LELAKI PANTAT....

Hahahaha!!!!.....

On The Verge Of Losing My Sanity

You are working your ass out in the office meeting deadlines. You call your colleague on his mobile to know his whereabout. He then said he'd call you back.

When he finally return your call, he nonchalantly say that he was having creambath (a popular scalp massage treatment). Not an ounce of guilt.

How would you feel?

Creambath is the latest addition to golf, massage and social meetings (which have nothing to do with the company's business).

Sometimes I wish I was back in KL. No. Most of the times I wish I was back in KL.

Business Trip

Supper with the supplier of "Spiderman" mechanical pencil and "Batman" pencil box.



Me with one of the shareholders of Below 100 Inc.


Courtesy of Peanutbutter, I might have a temporary butler/maid/gardener/cook by end of the month. Ms Peanut, I'll make sure she doesn't flirt around with the good looking security guard (matila ko Stephanie, ko dah ada competitor!).

One more thing Ms Peanut, there won't be any physical abuse. Paling kuat pun aku penampau kalo dia main cak-cak ngan aku kat pintu.