Pindah Lagi.. Pindah Lagi

Yupp. It'll make it the 4th time within 13 months.

I feel like an artist on his concert tour. Only that it isn't intercity but an inter-kecamatan tour. Kebayoran Baru - Kebayoran Lama, back and forth.

But I've been anticipating this move. That's why I left most of my belongings in the boxes from my previous move barely two months ago. Belum pun hilang rasa penat... dah kena pindah lagi.

Well actually, to be honest, I thought I'd be asked to return to HQ.

But Allah gave me more time to spend in Jakarta. Yak!! Yak!! Yeayy!!

• I will be able to catch my 4th JavaJazz (someone I know is performing!!!)
• My 3rd InaCraft!!! (ok, the iburumahtangga in me comes out once in a while. You people should be proud of the high quality craftsmanship of Indonesian handicrafts. And oh yeah, I'm the secret agent sent by KL to immitate those products)
• I can now plan my 3rd trip to Bali!!!!!
• I will witness PEMILU 2009!!
• Witness the upcoming flood!!

Last but not least,

• I will have the chance to see the ending of sinetron Muslimah, Yipppee!!! (it's a sinetron on Indosiar where this woman, Muslimah, arguably the most cursed woman ever in the history of sinetron, who has a step daughter with a third eye on the forehead. If that's not amazing enough, the third eye has magical powers to lift objects. The plot is unbelievably dreadful that after awhile you'll find it gives you this strange feeling of pleasure memaki-hamun in front of the telly all by yourself. Just like watching telenovelas but with a lot less boobs.

My new abode will be in a residential housing area which makes it more exciting. I'll get the chance to mingle with the locals. And then of course there'll be the tukang bakso, mbak jamu gandeng, bapak RT, electricity meter reader man, water meter reader man, tukang roti, tukang sepatu and the street's satpam among others. If I'm lucky, there'll also be the tukang topeng monyet.

Living in the current serviced apartment, the only living beings I bump into on regular basis are the satpam at the guard house, the receptionist and the stray cat that made the basement's carpark its home.

The thing that I find quite disturbing is the fact that there's a vacant plot of land directly opposite the house with overgrown grass and weeds. This view will greet me from the master bedroom window. Not a good idea to peek outside in the middle of the night, huh?

Also, the house has been vacant 3 months now. I will not have a neighbour. The house to the left has been vacant for months, and the house to the right is undergoing major renovations.

The house is quite huge. With maid's quarter, a garage (now I have a valid reason to buy a bicycle!!) and a wet kitchen.

Damn you Dewi Persik! It was solely because of you I watch Tali Pocong Perawan.

I need a housemate!!!!!!

Jogja Pics

Zip-up Your Fly, Please.

If one sees the notice below, then you're forgiven for thinking the place is full of flashers roaming about freely. I mean just look at those wordings.

To be able to "mengeluarkan" something, it must be somewhere inside in the first place.

Mengeluarkan tangan?... Tangan kan memang udah di luar.

Mengeluarkan kaki?... From where? Errr... unless of course, you're the boy in the bubble.

I shall not name the place. But the green coloured building sticks out like a sore thumb. Errr... I gave it away didn't I?

Meaningless Black and White Lines

Boxing Day.

Since Jakarta is free from the usual heavy traffic this long holiday weekend (that's what I read from the morning's KOMPAS), I decided to head to Senayan City to survey the price of a certain gadget at Best Denki.

As the taxi I was in was negotiating the corner from Jl Hang Tuah to Jl Asia Afrika, I was greeted with the view of long queue of vehicles entering Senayan City.

Damn you KOMPAS!

Traffic was heavy on both sides of Jl. Asia Afrika especially the section near Senayan City and Plaza Senayan.

Rather than joining the queue to enter, I asked the taxi driver to pull over by the bus stop infront of the mall. And save a few thousand rupiah.

I know. I'm a cheapskate.

Inside, the mall was crowded. Most were there for the year-end sale, I presume. From Debenhams to Zara. Sales galore!

Reminds me of the Boxing Day sale in the UK.

After checking out the price of the gadget at Best Denki and surveyed other shops in the mall offering the same item. I had to get out quick.

Bearing in mind the highly unfavourable traffic condition outside, the cheapskate in me reckon that it would be cheaper to board a taxi from Plaza Senayan instead of Senayan City. No need to do that far u-turn nearby Mulia Hotel.

This also meant that I had to risk my life crossing the busy Jl Asia Afrika to get to Plaza Senayan (I blogged about this once, here)

I tried to reassure myself that it would not be that life threatening because the person manning the pedestrian crossing would be there to assist pedestrians get across safely.

Well whadya know! They were not there! My only hope now is for the motorists to understand the purpose of the black and white lines across the road, which I was blankly staring at. And puting my whole trust in. Fat chance! It would be something beyond miracle if they understood what those lines are for.

I was just a few seconds late to join the large group of people who had just crossed the road.

Fine. I looked around hoping that there were more people who, together in a group, would stand a better chance of making the motorists stop and allow us to cross. A group of people is clearly more visible that a single yours truly.

I waited... and waited.. and waited. No one. Not a single soul!!!

Damn!!! Why did I pick this moment to cross??!!!! I was trying to make myself to look as cool as possible. Hopefully they'd see me as someone who was waiting for the taxi. Or ojek. Or Kopaja. Whatever!! As long as they did not see the fear and desperation on my face to cross that friggin' road!

Soon I realised I had waited a tad too long.

Voice in my head : Raise your right hand - Flap it up and down - Walk briskly to the median.

I repeated the procedure in my head over and over again. Took a deep breath and made that first step onto the road into the path of the oncoming traffic on my right.

Flap, flap, flap..... walk, walk, walk.

And I was safely standing on the road median.

Voice in my mind : Well done mate! Repeat process, but now raise your left hand and flap it up and down.

Took a deep breath. Flap my left hand up and down into the direction of the traffic on my left.

1st car stopped.

2nd car stopped.

So far so good. All the while continuing the ever important hand flap.

I was about to cross the path of the third car when I suddenly realised it wouldn't stop. It kept moving forward. And nearly hit me.

That was when the graceful hand flap automatically turned into a stiff wooden bat. Palm down, I hit hard the hood of the car.

Bang!!!!

I looked angrily at the driver. He was stunned.

"Can't you see there's a pedestrian-crossing here!! You bloody moron!!!" shouting on top of my lungs while pointing downward to the black and white lines.

Needless to say, the 4th and 5th car just stopped and allowed me to cross safely. Thanks to the mad man from KL, a group of people seized the opportunity to cross to the median from the Plaza Senayan side of the road.

I knew I got quite a number of stares. But... ada aku kesah??? The important thing - I made it safely to the other side of the road.

I just don't understand why can't any responsible authority build a pedestrian bridge which connects the two malls.

Why-la Fauzi Bowo?? Tell me why????

Taysert, Anyone?

A few days ago,bored (actually, more of feeling guilty because of over eating during the long holidays) I hit the gym at FX.

Klank, klunk, klank, klunk, dumbell-barbell-machines-treadmill..... I was done after 1 half hours.
Headed to the locker room. Took a shower. Went back to the locker and started to get dressed when suddenly from the corner of my eyes I saw a guy standing next to me.

Guy : Mas. Mau beli taysert gak?

I turned to him. He was clad only in towel.

Me : Hah? Kaset?(cassette) Gak mas. Makasih ya.

*Hello!!!??? People moved on to CDs a gazillion years ago*

Guy : Mas. Mau beli taysert ngak? Saya punya banyak merek.

Me : Gak mau mas. Saya udah lama pakai CD.... emangnya kaset ada merek?

Guy : Ada. Benetton. Gap. Adidas. Nike. Bagus-bagus lho taysertnya.

Me : Lho?? Emangnya mas jual apa ya?

Guy : Taysert. Kaos, mas.

Me : Oooooh! Tee-Shirt??! Teeeee- Shirrrt??

*it's a good idea if you wear one now*

Guy : Yach. Taysert!

Me : Gak pa pa. Makasih ya mas.

Guy : Sepatu mau gak? Adidas, Nike, Converse.

Me : Gak pa pa ya mas. Makasih.

Guy : Kalo suplemen-nya mau gak? Saya punya merek yang bagus-bagus.

Me : Waduh mas. Saya lagi keburu nih. Makasih ya!

Off I went leaving him standing there. With a white towel wrapped around his waist. Failed to make a sale. But still smiling.

Ya iyalah!!! Masa mau jualan cuman pakai handuk??? Gila!!

I wasn't expecting that to happen in the locker room of a gym. This kind of thing is a norm at for instance Soekarno-Hatta Airport ... you know when people approach you and speaking in a hush tone offering perfumes or watches. Or at bus terminals or train stations or open space car parks.

But in a Celebrity Fitness locker room????

A sign of hard times perhaps??

Lost!!

I know. It's a bit late. But what the heck!.....

Selamat Tahun Baru 1430 Hijrah & Selamat Tahun Baru 2009!!!

The last update was last year. Been busy with guests and the long holidays. Two "hari terjepit" in two consecutive weeks!.

A lot of interesting things happened within the two weeks before the new year.

One of them is related to Pasar Blok A Tanah Abang. Those who have been there know the sheer size of this mall (errr ... if you can call it that).

A fortnight ago, two friends of mine were in Jakarta. One of them brought along his parents, an older sister and a 18-month old niece. All on their first visit to Jakarta.

On their request, I took them to Pasar Blok A, Tanah Abang. We arrived at noon and I straight away took them to the B1 floor.

By the way, let me tell you how they name all the levels starting from the lowest floor - B2, B1,LG, SLG, G, 1, 2, 3, 3A, 5,6,7,8,9,10,11 and A.

Where,

B1 & B2 - the B stands for the standard Basement, of course.

SLG - Semi-Lower Ground - it's the floor between lower ground and ground floor. They could simply name it LG (then the current LG becomes B1, followed by B2 and finally B3) but then simplicity is not a norm here. I once asked a friend what does SLG means, he simply said it stands for - Sikit Lagi.

A - is for Atap. Talk about inconsistency! You have Basement, Ground, Semi-ground floors, and then all of a sudden they decided to name the rooftop in Bahasa Indonesia!

Ok. You might ask why in the world would I waste my time observing the way they name all their floors.

That unfortunate day, I had to be part of a small search team.

This was due to the disappearance of the father in that group. He wandered off by himself. Strayed away from the rest in the group who were busy looking at kebaya, batik and mukena.

My other friend, moments after realising the father of his friend was missing, started to search around the nearby area. Then the daughter of the missing father said,

"Don't worry about my bapak. Let's find the kebaya first."

I was mad. Fuming mad! I went to her and slapped her on the left cheek. Another landed on her right cheek. Then I looked straight into her eyes and said " Kebaya lebih penting dari Bapak ko sendiri!?? Dasar anak derhaka!! Sedar tak apa yang ko cakap??!!" before giving a final slap on her forehead.

Ok. I didn't actually do the above. But the scene played over and over again in my head. I had a mild sinetronesis attack. I seriously have to cut back on watching sinetron.

So, without showing an ounce of concern, the whole family went on with their shopping spree. And I thought to myself - if they couldn't care less about their father, then why should I?

For the next 3 hours they only did 2 floors - B1 and SLG. Throughout the entire time, not even once we bump into the father. Still, it was not enough to make them worried.

Until 4 pm.

That's when they were exhausted from shopping and headed to the 8th floor foodcourt. They tried calling the father's mobile a few times. No ringing tone. Now, they had the worried look on their faces.

My friend (the son), another friend of mine and myself went on searching different floors tasked between us. While the ladies stayed behind at the foodcourt.

We even asked the lady at the information counter to make an announcement through the building's P.A system. However the volume was too low to be heard over the speakers.

Before we knew it it was already 5pm. Most of the shops were already closing for the day. Still no sign of the father.

By then, all the other exits, except for exits to the left and right of the main door entrance, were closed. We took our position at both doors. Hoping that the father would eventually come out through one of the doors.

The building's security personnel have been alerted to be on the lookout for a 60-year old Malaysian man who might look confused (seriously, that's what one of them said over the walkie-talkie).

6 pm. The father was still not in sight. Now, the family was getting really worried.

I, on the other hand, was getting restless.

Then the mother approached me and asked me to check my apartment. I called the apartment's receptionist. She sent someone to check the lounge area just opposite my unit's entrance. No one was there.

So I told the receptionist to call me immediately if she sees my missing guest.

It was almost 7 pm when we left Pasar Tanah Abang. The mother again asked me to check the apartment. I called. Asked the receptionist to send someone to check the lounge area. This time, the father was there. My missing guest had found his way back to the apartment.

Everyone was relieved. Yeay! Happy ending!!

When we finally arrived at my apartment, the family members gathered around the father and was instantly in a high pitch "discussion".

First time ever in my three years of hosting guests such a thing happened.

Anyone know where I can get one of those homing devices where I can track the movement of my guests on the Sat Nav systems?

Blast From The Past!

Life has been quite hectic lately.

Blame it on the school holidays in Malaysia. If you think school holidays in Malaysia do not in any way affect my life in Indonesia, then, you're wrong.

'Tis is the time when relatives and friends in Malaysia take their family on holiday. Most of them are bored with the tiny dot down south of Peninsula Malaysia.

Jakarta is the new Singapore!

I do what is expected from a good host. Take them around places of their interest (read: malls and pusat grosir).

Please don't mention Tanah Abang or Mangga Dua. Merely typing those names makes my hair stand on end. I think, no, I believe, I've been to those places more than I've been to Thrifty in PJ all my lifetime.

Those in PJ who do not know Thrifty, then you have not live in PJ long enough. Ijal, kalo ko tak tau Thrifty, ko bukan le penduduk aborigine PJ Old Town.

Thrifty is equivalent to present day Carrefour but on a much, much smaller scale. Anyone remember Weld's Cold Storage? Hock Choon? Fairtrade?

Did you know that we even had Printemps in Damansara? (Nottytomato pakai lampin gamaknya masa tempat ni baru bukak... ke ko belum lahir lagi?) Next door was Kimisawa.

If any of those places do not sound alien, then, lets face it... korang dah tua!!!!

Speaking of being tua, recently, I chanced upon a website which has a vast compilation of Malay song lyrics. In no time I found myself singing and tapping my feet to Andainya Aku Pergi Dulu (Alleycats), Ku Petik Bintang-Bintang (Kenny Remy Martin), Suraya (Headwind), Kamelia (Sweet Charity) and Joget Kenangan Manis (Sudirman, best woo lagu ni!!) before my boss's face appeared just above my PC's monitor.

Sepoil sungguh mood aku. Baru nak ber-Mekar Sejambak.

To my Indonesian friends, those songs are from jamannya Emilia Contessa, Broery Pesulima, Bob Tutupoli and some from era Endang S. Taurina ngetop.

Yes. We Malaysians love Indonesian songs from way back then. We even know who Benyamin S. is and watched his films too (or am I alone in this?).

Anyway, I'll be a tourist guide again this weekend. That's three consecutive weekends. I long for the Sunday when I can wake up at 10am.

Happy weekend everyone!